Grand Theft Auto V Review Comments: A Critique

Looking at a handful of the thousands of comments which have littered Grand Theft Auto V reviews.

Grand Theft Auto V finally came out at midnight while the reviews of Rockstar’s behemoth went online earlier in the day and almost universally awarded 9s or 10s. For some people 9/10 is apparently an embarrassingly low score; others criticised reviewers for daring to try to bring some subjective analysis to the title because obviously you can’t love something and also be critical – no wait, that’s rubbish. Of course you can.

Regardless, let’s look at some of the comments floating around out there on GTAV’s reviews. Neither the sites the comments have been picked from nor commentators’ online IDs are listed here but all are genuine.

i am very angry >> how this game got 9/10 only ????????

Yes, well first off; that sentence didn’t make much sense but then this is the internet. Now, giving a game 10/10 doesn’t mean it’s perfect – it simply means that it’s as good as we’re going to get at the moment. Some games get 10s when they probably don’t deserve them (I very much contend that, at most, BioShock Infinite is a 9/10 game). Other games which do deserve 10s simply don’t get them (Goldeneye famously didn’t get an Edge 10/10 although in the magazine’s recent 20th anniversary issue they did retroactively boost a few of the scores they’ve awarded over the years).

9/10 is better than a good score; it’s a great score and it’s certainly nothing to complain about. Sure, everyone wants their game to get 10/10 but that simply can’t happen every time – if it did, the value of awarding a game a 10/10 score would be diminished.

Nazi (Insert website name here) has taken everything from us. GIFs, images, links. We’ve been bent over yet we still come back for more 🙁

Alright, here’s the thing: No one is forcing you to read their review; in fact, you might find it refreshing to go into a game blind. If you don’t like a site stop reading (unless it’s Gamemoir, obviously. Then you have to read it anyway). Oh, and if you want GIFs we have entire articles consisting of GIFs – on a related note: I will never pronounce GIF as ‘jif’.

In all seriousness though; you have options. Dozens of sites have Grand Theft Auto V reviews. Go read someone else’s if you must.

This reviewer actually snuck his own personal agenda into the review of this game. What a lousy reason to bring its score down.

A review is not a news article where the journalist’s imperative is impartiality. Whether or not this holds through for much of the gaming media is an argument for another day.

A review is an opinion piece. That’s why there’s scores and those scores differ (even sites like Kotaku which don’t offer scores still tell you whether or not they think you should buy the game with a simple ‘Yes’ or ‘No’). Ultimately, any review will be subjective and influenced by the reviewer’s prejudices. Certainly there’s scope for critical analysis but at the end of the day a review is someone’s opinion. Failure to understand that is a failure to understand the very nature of what you’re reading.

Parody, yes, satire no. It has nothing perceptive to say about the world. Catch-22 it isn’t.

This comment was dated September 16th, that is, before the game was released. Can Rockstar’s game match up Joseph Heller’s classic novel as a critique of society? Probably not – mostly because it wasn’t trying to – but the fact is; there was simply no way for this person to know this when they wrote it.

Unless this commentator can see the future in which case, will there be a PS4 version? Would love to know, thanks.

I just spent 2 hours playing Tennis in this game. *_* #peebreak

Yes, you can play tennis in Grand Theft Auto V. You can also, for example, commit crimes like say, grand theft auto or buy properties or invest in stock. There are dedicated tennis games out there you know? Not to mention the actual sport of tennis.

And really, no one needs to know you’re going to the toilet. Ever.

reviewer is gay ……… his not even mentioning if the game is bad , his saying that there are jokes offending his kind

His ‘kind’? Are gay people another species? And ‘his not mentioning’ of what exactly? Ah, ‘he is’. Well, E is all of five keys away from I. That’s a long way for lazy people? Maybe.

Wow. You talk about the protag’s being scumbags, yet here you are whoring for hits with this ridiculous review.

Someone offered a solid but unspectacular review of a game. Sure, maybe the review was scored relatively (compared to most others at least) low knowing it would spark debate but isn’t it just about possible that the reviewer in question actually found some of the content of the game to be less than stellar? That maybe the whole was not more than the sum of its parts?

Would this review have put anyone off actually buying the game? Almost certainly not. You mightn’t like a review but it’s hard to judge it, or the game itself, fairly until you’ve played and finished it.


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Stephen Daly

Gamemoir's editor-in-chief and a news editor for Gameranx. Stephen believes that all game platforms are created equal but some are more equal than others.